To care is to share

It's in our daily basis that we wake up, eat some breakfast, go to work, learn something and surely, meet people. No man is an island, i suppose. Everyone meets others everyday. Well, the word others might be ambiguous as it just can be anybody; friends, parents, clients, teachers or enemies! The big question to ponder is, do we actually greet these people whenever we bump into them? Greeting is prevalent especially amongst English or Japanese citizens. What about us in Malaysia? Perhaps some of us are still wondering whether we really need to practise greetings. As a matter of fact, a greeting shows that we care about people around us. Simple questions like "How are you?" or "How are you doing?" are examples of how all of us should do it. Body gestures and facial expressions are two other alternative ways for us to choose from. To flash our sweetest smile does not even require a drop of sweat. Anyway, asking others caring questions is sharing the happiness and troubles one actually bears inside. It doesn't take price, it's not a waste of time and it's not painful or fatal. Thank you for reading! *Smile flashed*

Somebody to wait for you, to hear your voice.

Have you ever had somebody who missed your presence? I had! :) Sometimes we do not realize that there are some people waiting to hear our voice and see our face, for one more time. Have you ever been in a room filled with love and care? I had! :) Yes, it sounded a little bit overexcited but it was just the way i liked to express my feelings now. Today, i was meeting these people who waited my presence, without me ever knowing it. Haha.. Yes, it was often i overlooked these people who actually appreciated me more than i ever thought. How could i tell? Yes, that was one good question. And my answer would go, i just knew. You would feel it when you could sense the air of appreciation, happiness and love. Yes, i was proudly surrounded by them, those feelings. It was good. It was so good in fact. It was very rare that we could really relax and smile and joke around the way we always wanted. I felt secure, comfortable and peaceful. At least i could smile for a little while to heal the wound i suffered inside. This is why people say ups and downs are normal momentum to experience. Yes, i do and always agree on that. Dear people who showered me with love today, you will be always in my prayers. May God have some mercy on you when facing difficult moments. Before i end, i really need to state that I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Let it be, don't let it go

Despite all the troubles, mishaps and ordeals i went through all these months, i am still here, being alive under god's blessings. Yes, i do give up but my definition of giving up is letting it be and not letting it go. Those are two different ideas. When you let it go, you are a real restless person. In fact, maybe you can be called useless, impatient and ungrateful. Both sound and are negative qualities that you should, never ever in your life, not even once, own. I don't know what really drives me to write a new post today in my newly born blog. But it was good. It was good that i keep in touch again with my blog. Something that i at first was very excited to write. But it seems that lately, i've very busy and lazy. Aww... not good. I admit that i'm tired. But i'm just unsure what i am tired of and from. It can be anything. There are some pieces of memories i collect this year. Maybe those memories have made me tired. I think that "tired" is a quick description of something. So, people are spontaneous when they say that adjective. It's just a simple thought anyway. Gonna stop now. Maybe will continue later in my next post, which i'm not sure when it's gonna be. It even can be as early as today. Whatever it is, God know better. Always and always.

Life is permanent, death is temporary.

Suicide is the most worthless action one might do. A bunch of thanks to dear God for making me realise the fact. But it was hard for suicidal committers to think rationally when putting an end to their lives. Seriously and honestly, i never blame them. People might have said they were out of their minds and even to have a small intention of committing it was ridiculous. So did they say. One question to those thinkers, have you ever had an empathy feeling? Have you ever heard of such sayings that sounded like "We were in the same boat" or "If you were in my shoes". Now, you might argue that those people who committed suicide had little faith in God and were not strong to face the tests from God. So did they think. To make it clear, i'm not supporting suicidal committers not encouraging suicide. I just need a second from dear thinkers to relax and think deeply of what really made the committers commit. Where were we when they felt so bad that the world totally ignored every single thing they did and said? Where were those family and friends we believed they were the closest to all human beings? The truth was, the loneliness literally killed them. They needed companions to feel that they belonged somewhere, to be sure that they were actually never alone. Now, each of us might want to be more careful with loneliness for the reality says that, it really kills...

POST SCRIPT: I mean no harm, I mean no danger. Peace!

I WILL SURVIVE

Dear God,
It's been more than 23 years that you have been keeping me alive. And throughout those years, i have survived well with your blessings. It may be hard for me to live these days with great challenges and risks all by my side, but it is highly because i have faith on you that i let my liver works they way it should. Surviving my life is all i really need to do now and please give me enough strength to go through my days left (which i am never sure how many days are left). i admit that i've been so helpless that i feel like letting go. I am surviving, i am surviving, i am surviving. Please tell me that the day is not that near, right? At least not until you answer my prayers and grant my wishes to be forgiven and blessed...

Showing less is the best way

To show yourself less and less does't mean you are giving up. Some people love to show up to gain popularity or to attract people's attention. I was once there. I wish everyone around me knew who i was. It was before. It was when i felt the world was mine. It was when i thought that i was the most important person alive. But it has changed now. Showing less and less of myself is what i'm doing everyday, now and onwards.Why? I was asking myself the same question too. In fact, the question is killing me day and night, night and day. I lost all life expectations, dreams and ambitions. I looked too high to the sky that i forgot that the earth was where i belonged. An invisible guy is all what i need to be now, at least for the time being, till i 'come back' to the earth again and admit the fact that God loves me.

My unanswered prayers

Prayers are the ultimate effort somebody put to make something happen the way he wants. Prayers involve hope, patience and faith. We hope that our prayers are answered. We hope that we are given enough patience before a wish to be granted. We hope that faith is always with us so that we never give up on praying to the One for helping some miracles to happen. However, some prayers are not answered or maybe, they are not really well-answered. They were mine. Those unanswered prayers were unfortunately mine. This turns those hopes, patience and faith into frustration, despair and solemness. What was happening to the world? I kept asking myself. I was lost in my own world. I played myself hide and seek, and i simply had no idea where i had been hiding. Missing parts of me were more and more. Was this the time? Was this just the right time for things to go wrong? At last i found out that nothing actually happened to the planet. Nothing and nothing ever happened to the world around me. I was just being tested. Is this the most positive thing i can think now? If it really is, then my life is really going through a half-breaking bridge. You can fall anytime, Halu! Anytime God wants. Say the prayer, Halu! Say it. You are dying. Say the prayer!!! Even you know your prayers would never, would never once, be answered. The End.

An empty, hectic day.

Until today, i never believe that a day full with plans does not promise any space for boredom and emptiness. Here it comes. My day was hectic with a long continuous driving going around the same places again and again. That was during the daytime when the sun was there to light up everyone's life. Tired, you were normally thinking that it was a very long day yet the time walked so fast. When the moon started to take over the sun's obligation to the world, you may be there at those places where bedsheets, pillows and bolsters were around. But for me, the night was too dark for me to spend. The stars seemed to spark less than ever. The heart and soul were nothing but an ache.