The Challenging Road to Blessings

The Challenging Road to Blessings

          I am neither a frequent flyer nor an avid traveller to be honest. So, when I planned to take a trip out of Malaysia last March, I was visited by many kinds of feelings that made me rethink about my decision. At the end of the day, I still needed to thank God for giving me a chance to finalize a right decision as I actually proceeded with the plan to go to Saudi Arabia. The original plan was actually laid out by my third sister and later, my parents and my youngest sister came into the picture. As we were preparing ourselves for the pilgrimage, my paternal grandmother finally joined our family trip of six to the holy land, Mecca.

The writer believes that a beautiful camaraderie makes life a wonderful journey

          It’s indeed every Muslim’s dream to reach Medina and Mecca especially to get closer to God as well as to dear Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. But nothing is made easy. There will be great challenges that come and go throughout the process and everyone is given different ones to face and to bear. Since it is crucial and necessary for everyone to be mentally, physically and emotionally prepared for any future circumstances, I was following the crowd in this case. I tried my best to be a better servant of God by remembering Him more and being kinder towards others. I kept my patience and positivity close to me and believed that God only tested the ones whom He really loved.

          Six weeks before the day of departure, I was stunned by my unexpected sickness that challenged me in every way. I had never felt this painful and torturing before and I knew that my time and turn had come. The test was so great that I almost cancelled my Umrah trip and if I were to do so, all other five family members would have to follow suit. The sudden illness had really affected my routine and career as a teacher. The effects were gradually felt day by day till the point that I needed to stop staying at hostel since my condition got worse. I went across districts just to seek for treatment to at least reduce the pain with the hope that one day I would be fully recovered. I began to take medical leaves for the first times in my teaching career and it was frustrating to accept the fact that things didn’t get any better. I wasn't even able to drive and my energy was slowly washed away as days passed. I was a helpless young man who was stuck and speechless in a world no one would want to venture into.

          After a few weeks, I finally made the decision to still go on with the original plan in spite of having to struggle with my health condition. I had no choice but to fight it till we finished our 12-day trip to the holy land. With my family members by my side, I tried to be strong and left the rest to God. It was difficult at first but I believed that He would never test His servant something unbearable so I kept my faith stronger.

          The journey to the Kuala Terengganu airport was a tough one. I suddenly lost my confidence but I didn’t mention to anyone. The airport was indeed full with family members and relatives including ours who waved us goodbye and wished us a smooth sailing journey. I couldn’t respond much as my head was not in a good state. The headaches came back and I lost my focus, again. All I could do was smile and they seemed to understand my uncomfortable condition. I just couldn’t stop praying that everything would be fine and God would welcome us to be His guests.

At the airport with my grandmother

          The journey finally began when we boarded the plane to Low-Cost Carrier Terminal (LCCT) before taking the flight to Dubai on the next day. When we reached Dubai, we took a connecting flight to Jeddah and the real adventure was awaiting us there. The airport was crowded with people and the check-in procedures were slower than a moving tortoise. Everyone was forced to line up accordingly as they provided special lines for women and the elderly. A young man like me was instructed to stand in different lines for five tedious hours before I was allowed to pass through the first station. Some chose to be angry but I decided to be patient, miraculously. God sure had mercy on me that He gave me the strength I never knew I had. That unbelievable moment made me hope for the best and prepare for the worst even more.

          Before heading to Mecca, we spent three days in Medina as part of the overall plan. I was quite overwhelmed with the place as it was beautiful and peaceful in its own way. Masjid Nabawi or the Prophet’s Mosque was truly amazing in every aspect. People from many countries around the world filled in the area but you could still feel the calmness and tranquility deep within your soul. That made the place special and extraordinary.

After performing our first Umrah

          After three days, we continued our journey to Mecca to perform our long-awaited Umrah for approximately 8 days. We were lucky that the temperature wasn’t as high as it would be in May or June. But the place was a bit crowded with many devotees coming in big groups. Here, we had to be extra careful with our personal belongings as anything could happen when we were stuck in the ocean of people especially on our way back from Masjidil Haram to our hotel. Interestingly enough, it was quite a rare view for me to observe thousands of people of different races, skin colours, nationalities, ages and personalities to gather in one place to complete one similar mission. There were a million and one stories written on every strange face I came across. Some prayed in desperation while others stayed calm appreciating the golden opportunity only selected ones received.  

In front of Masjidil Haram

          Our days in Mecca were made more intriguing with the visits our group leaders planned beforehand. We had been given a priceless chance to witness many historical places especially the ones that told great stories about the lives of Prophet Muhammad, his family and his loyal companions. We were touring the city while sparing a moment to pay our respect to the great people who had gone before us. On our way back to the hotel, we passed by a few places where wars and fighting took place. It was like a dream for me to capture the moment with my own eyes as before this, I could only imagine the settings when I read the books and listened to the stories.

          After 12 days of travelling around the country, we were ready to go back to our dearly-missed motherland with the hope that we could slowly change into becoming a better person. The journey was fine until I slipped in the toilet in the Dubai airport that caused some uninvited cuts and bruises on the arms and backaches on the back. The challenge seemed to still continue and I was subconsciously blaming myself for committing too many mistakes previously to experience these ordeals now.

Aren't those camels adorable?

          Despite the injuries, I still enjoyed my flight with Emirates that provided the best service to their customers. The food was nice and the movies on the personal screen were not bad too. The long flight was indeed a treat and I hope I could board on it again in the future.

          After some ups and downs in the dark and bright sky, we eventually landed at Sultan Mahmud Airport, Kuala Terengganu on a Friday afternoon and there everyone was. The faces we saw and the hands we shook before our departure were all there again for our arrival. They heaved a sigh of relief as their loved ones had returned safe and sound.

Standing between my father on the right and my roommate on the left

          The memorable journey has left its significant footprint behind and it sure has taught me new lessons to live this life feeling grateful each day. It was a long read but there were still missing details I excluded on purpose just because some truths are better left untold.

"The writer learns that some lessons in this world need to be earned before they are to be learned."

Sounds of Love: A Poem by Muhamad Solahudin bin Ramli

SOUNDS OF LOVE

The writer believes that a beautiful camaraderie makes life a wonderful journey

Those mornings that woke me up

Those nights that kept me staying up

I had never given it up…

I remembered the worst lullabies I sang

That made me sleep before you rang

The time I would hear a bang

You would say something out of desperation

Explaining your bad action

I shook my head in exasperation

It was like a magic spell

You had grown up well

No more tales to tell

I sometimes missed the smell

When you were shouting like hell

But you rang me no bell

I longed for the lips

Landing on my cheeks

I longed for the body

Holding me close saying “Daddy”

I longed for those killing smiles

That drove me crazy

I longed for those healing smiles

That made me feel cozy

I needed neither Michaelmas Daisy on September

Nor a bouquet of red roses each year

I just wanted you to remember

Your words to your story-teller

Saying I would never leave you father

And I would love you ever after

Those words I would inspire

To live my life with no fear

Forgetting you, I never could

Even the moment I left for good

 "This poem was written in conjunction with Father's Day children celebrate each year."

The Chuckle

He made me chuckle for the first time after so many months. It was just a small laugh but it was indeed a miracle to my miserable life. I was having my dinner at the dining table when he suddenly came to me and asked, “Where’s your Maxis Breadbond? I need some internet right now. I’m so bored.” That was his magical line that put an impromptu smile on my face. “It wasn’t “Breadbond”. It’s Broadband and it’s inside my backpack.” I responded. That was Esmat, my only son.

The writer believes that every teacher is a parent to learners.

Three months ago in March, I was involved in a car accident and my wife had been seriously injured before the medical team announced her death right before midnight. My son and I suffered only minor injuries and we were discharged from the hospital after few days of treatment. The traumatic incident affected my routines as a father and an employee and my life had not been the same anymore. I kept on blaming myself for what happened and how I wished it was just a nightmare that would have ended when I woke up early in the morning. Unfortunately, it was not a dream but a painful reality for me to bear until my remaining days to live came to an end.

However, I just couldn’t be mourning forever for I still had my 11 year-old son who deserved my care and attention. If not because of two miscarriages my wife experienced earlier, I would have been blessed with three wonderful children by now. Still, I thanked god for not taking away everything from me as Esmat was still there to be with me through thick and thin. Being the only child, I didn’t spoil him by making everything easy on him. I always reminded him that he needed to earn every penny in order to receive the best satisfaction in life. Life was never easy and I myself once learned and lived the hard way.

Sometimes I had to admit that I spent less quality time with my family as I was busy with my career as an English teacher at a secondary school. Being a workaholic, I also contributed to a local newspaper by writing articles mainly about life, motivation and opinions on given topics. Not just that, I was an active examiner for public examinations for my extra income. I loved to give my all-out effort for anything I worked on without realizing that my family should also be my priority. Now, I could only sit on the couch thinking that I should have been a better husband to my patient wife who had hard times understanding a complicated man like me.

“Let bygone be bygone, daddy.” A soft voice was heard from behind. My son dropped his head on my lap when I was still relaxing on the long white couch. He was done surfing the internet and it was his sleeping time as the clock struck 11. Closing his two sleepy eyes, he muttered, “It’s a school holiday tomorrow so can we go to the lake? I miss the tortoises there and I know that they miss me too.” I was just silent. “Dad, you can look for your inspiration for your next articles too. Don’t you think that it’s mutually beneficial now?” I finally joked, “I guess it was my fault to name you Esmat. I never thought you’d get smarter than me when you’re just 11.” Starting to sound naughty, he replied, “Dad, I am a smart boy because I have a smart father like you.” He made me chuckle again and I planned to end his sweet talking by saying, “Okay, we’ll be at the lake tomorrow and now please stop talking and go to sleep.”

“Daddy…” The little voice was heard again and before I could even say anything, he slowly uttered the three beautiful words that made me almost burst into tears, “Happy father’s day.”

Life: A Short Story by Muhamad Solahudin bin Ramli

LIFE

                What is life? Some people say that it is about the ups and downs we go through each day. Some agree that it is about experiencing different stages in life from childhood till the day we grow old. Some even think that it is about making a lot of money as money is undeniably, for some, everything. Everyone is free to define the meaning of life and there is actually no right or wrong answer. This is because humans are born with different talents, skills, special abilities and ways of thinking. I believe that no one is better than others as God has created all of us equal. That was what my grandmother used to say when she was still breathing while enjoying her lovely life. She is now gone but I’ll always remember every single story she told me especially when she was young.

                It was early in the morning that I saw her sitting alone on a wooden bench outside her house. It was her usual place to recollect all her beautiful memories she once carved with her charming prince and their happy children. She was scanning all the colourful flowers she planted long ago. Daisies were her personal favourites and she always claimed that they were the most beautiful flowers in the world. When she was lost in her own thought, I approached her slowly, trying not to startle her. “Good morning, grandma. Have you had your breakfast?” I said. She was not responding and I thought I needed to speak a little louder just to get her out of her fantasy world for awhile. “Grandma?” She turned to me and gave me her inspiring smile. “Yes, my dear. I had some bread and butter just now. The black tea your mother prepared was as great as ever.” She then invited me to sit next to her and I would always love to accompany her while listening to her stories.

                “Do you know why I became a teacher?” She asked me while covering her body with a blanket the husband once bought her as a birthday present. The morning was cool and calm and I was in my green cardigan to make myself feel warmer. “I think it was because teaching is a noble profession and you want to impart some knowledge to all your students.” I answered her question. She was just smiling and slowly parting her lips to reply what I had just said. “Yes, my dear. You’re right. But it’s actually more than that. Teaching is a beautiful profession and you’ll never know how beautiful it can be until you become a teacher yourself.” Her words were always full with hidden meanings that never failed to make me curious of the figurative details. I requested for further explanation and she would be more than happy to share what she kept inside as for her, sharing was what made her feel better and free.

                “Being a teacher is being special. Regardless of what subject a teacher is teaching, there will be a beautiful human connection every teacher will develop. This connection allows love, affection, care, understanding and empathy to take place. Most importantly, a real teacher creates a wonderful camaraderie with the learners who learn more about life than about how to score well in exams.” I was stunned by her long words of wisdom but I could not deny that what she said was true. Teaching helped her deal with learners with different personalities, learning styles and intelligences. She believed that real teachers would not just help students get excellent results but they should be taught how to face the reality in this challenging world. Not to forget, there would be the ugly truths that would make us go back to the slogan, “Expect the Unexpected”.

                Spending time talking about her unforgettable days with her students brought her back to life again and she was as passionate and energetic as ever as she took a stroll down memory lane. She really enjoyed her teaching days as those days taught her how to be strong and patient, the two life elements everyone needed to survive the ordeals. She was proud that many of her students had succeeded in their lives as individuals who stood tall and appreciated life values. Some of them still even paid her a visit and their conversation would never end if not for some other business they had to attend to. I, for many times, had always noticed a different kind of happiness shown on her face whenever they met. Sometimes their reunions had caused some tears to drop, not just theirs but mine too.

                I remember on the very last day before my dear grandmother passed away. She said that everyone was a teacher and a learner at the same time. She advised me to never stop learning new things and spreading good knowledge to everyone I came across. Lessons are meant to be learnt, appreciated and passed to the next generation. Forgiving and giving are essential and we will someday realize that the two practice would miraculously make us feel better when we least expect it. She totally agreed with the classic line, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.”

                Her last few days were full with beautiful words as if she already knew that her life would be over soon, and I promised I would keep all her advice and reminders as they were the best wills I could ever receive from somebody that never had regrets in life and never held grudges against anybody. She was a wonderful woman with a sincere heart and I would surely tell my children the inspiring tales my grandmother told me once. I loved her so dearly but I needed to accept the fact that her time to say goodbye had come and I needed to move on and live my life.

A short story by,

Muhamad Solahudin bin Ramli

March 31, 2014

THE FATHER IN ME

The world is always merry with various celebrations to be rejoiced by the nation around the globe. Teacher’s Day, Children’s Day, National Day and Labour Day are amongst the annual events no one would miss. Now, June is around and it’s time to count days to Father’s Day which might not be as talked-about as Mother’s Day. Still, I believe that all children should appreciate their fathers for their sacrifice, pain and hardship the former might have no idea about.  

I am a teacher and currently enjoying my single life. For many, it sounds like I have less worries and responsibilities as there are no children waking me up in the middle of the night or asking for money to fulfil their wants and needs. They can be right, and wrong too. Since I started teaching in 2009, I realize that I am responsible for their dreams, wishes and hopes. I need to ensure they are not left behind by educating them to be somebody their parents will be proud of. Every time they performed badly in their tests or misbehaved, I asked myself, “Where did I go wrong?” and I started to change my teaching strategies and methods.

I have been a hostel keeper for four years starting from 2010 and that actually helps me to know how it feels like to be a parent. I dealt with numerous kinds of parents about their sons and daughters and that even made me understand more about raising a child. When I first became a caretaker at hostel, I felt bad and everything was wrong. To make it more challenging, I was not even a hostel occupant when I was a teenager. Everything was new and I needed to start from scratch. Slowly, my confidence gained and I managed to adapt with the help of two other female wardens who continuously gave me encouragement and advice.

A year passed and I was transferred to another school out of the blue. I was devastated when I heard about the news but I knew that God prepared a better plan for me. I just couldn’t believe that I had to leave my children behind. Yeah, the meaningful one year had made me regard them as my sons and daughters instead of my students. The situation had forced me to make myself comfortable with a new environment again but there was hardly space for positive thoughts in my mind anymore. Thanks to my two friends I recently made as they were the ones who kept on supporting me when I was stuck and speechless with what was happening. Everything happened too fast and I was just too breathless to catch everything up.

I was introduced to the students at the new hostel and here came another beginning in my life. The students were too many to notice and my heart was too weak to accept. But there was always the light at the end of tunnel. I began to feel good handling the students day and night as I enjoyed the activities I created for the benefits of everyone. The students had indirectly taught me about life and how to make it more worth it. So how could I regret when I was blessed with lessons to learn and moments to remember?

I do not deny that the bad days were there but I realize that those days helped make my story of life more memorable and unforgettable. All those tears, migraines, angers and frustrations made me appreciate laughter and smiles even more. Now, I am teaching at my third school and I just knew that it would be only hard in the beginning but God will send me good people to help me cope with it. Now I keep on mentioning my ex students, I begin to miss them more and more.

One thing about taking my students as my children is that it makes us closer to each other. After all, what else could possibly be more beautiful for a gentleman if not a fatherly feeling?

2011: A YEAR TO REMINISCE

Every year, It's not the same. Every year, there is another set of memories created. Every year, there will be new lessons to learn. Every year, changes are made.

I REMEMBER WHEN...

I remember when I watched Mr.Bean and the X-Files series with all my siblings when I was little. We sat on the long brown couch in one line to capture every scene that made us laugh, scream and frown. Now, everyone is busy with a hectic life that seems to never end and our once cosy couch does not even exist anymore.

I remember when I ironed my own uniforms before leaving for my kindergarten, twenty years ago. I remember when I hid the anchovies and cabbages behind my back when I ate my lunch prepared by the kindergarten during the short break, because I hated them so much.

I remember when I sat quietly in the class and pretended to focus and understand every word my teachers uttered. I remember when I dared not to look in my teachers' eyes more than two seconds to show respect and innocence. I remember when I made sure of my hair and finger nails to be neatly cut before going to school especially on Sundays.

I remember when I memorized every Quran and Hadis verse required in the syllabus a night before the class with my Ustaz because I was afraid he got angry and and hit me. I remember when I kept in touch for almost ten years with my practical Ustazah who taught me for few months when I was 10 years old. Now, we do not write each other anymore.

I remember when I was one of three students attending the last class before the Raya break during my college days simply because I wanted to keep my attendance perfect.

Now, I feel like living in a new, undesirable world. Since I became a teacher about a year ago, I felt lost in the students' behaviours and unacceptable manners. I studied every one of them and I still failed to comprehend their formula of life.