I REMEMBER WHEN...

I remember when I watched Mr.Bean and the X-Files series with all my siblings when I was little. We sat on the long brown couch in one line to capture every scene that made us laugh, scream and frown. Now, everyone is busy with a hectic life that seems to never end and our once cosy couch does not even exist anymore.

I remember when I ironed my own uniforms before leaving for my kindergarten, twenty years ago. I remember when I hid the anchovies and cabbages behind my back when I ate my lunch prepared by the kindergarten during the short break, because I hated them so much.

I remember when I sat quietly in the class and pretended to focus and understand every word my teachers uttered. I remember when I dared not to look in my teachers' eyes more than two seconds to show respect and innocence. I remember when I made sure of my hair and finger nails to be neatly cut before going to school especially on Sundays.

I remember when I memorized every Quran and Hadis verse required in the syllabus a night before the class with my Ustaz because I was afraid he got angry and and hit me. I remember when I kept in touch for almost ten years with my practical Ustazah who taught me for few months when I was 10 years old. Now, we do not write each other anymore.

I remember when I was one of three students attending the last class before the Raya break during my college days simply because I wanted to keep my attendance perfect.

Now, I feel like living in a new, undesirable world. Since I became a teacher about a year ago, I felt lost in the students' behaviours and unacceptable manners. I studied every one of them and I still failed to comprehend their formula of life.