Every school break, it has been a cultural norm in our
country, and many other counties, to send wedding invitations
to relatives, neighbours, friends and colleagues. A wedding ceremony celebrates newlyweds on the best day of their lives. It is an
event that brings people closer as relatives gather and long-lost friends
reunite.
While
children expect goodies, adults look forward to gossip.
For the latter, it is a perfect time to update themselves with interesting news,
especially those that are the talk of the town. As a result,
assumptions and remarks are made, and questions are asked. Examples include: “When
are you going to ditch your unmarried status?”, “Shouldn’t you have at least
one child by now?” and “I heard her husband cheated on her!”.
Regardless
of whether the remarks happen before or behind the individuals concerned, we should not spread rumours or pose suggestive
questions in public, especially during happy occasions, as we have no right
to intrude into their lives.
These insensitive people may try to show care and concern, but they end
up making someone feel uncomfortable and awkward. In fact, it will become
even more uncomfortable when the guests asking the questions are those they
hardly know. If we intend to be friendly, it is better to offer compliments or to
talk about general issues. We should avoid using offensive remarks, even in a casual conversation.
If
we find it hard to be sensitive to the feelings of those who share the same
race or religion with us, it will be harder for us to avoid prejudice, stereotyping
and discrimination against other races and religions.
Although we gained independence more than 50 years ago, we still fail to be grateful for the
blessings of living as one in a peaceful country. Our manners show who we really
are, while our words and actions mirror our attitude and personality. By saying
hurtful remarks and asking insensitive questions, we have exhibited our
selfishness, ignorance and disrespect towards others.
When
we make those remarks, we may be joking, but cheap jokes are not funny. When we
ask those questions, we may be teasing, but the teasing makes someone take the
matter personally.
 |
| The writer (in red t-shirt) believes that a beautiful camaraderie makes life a wonderful journey. |
It
is important for us to know that when we ask about somebody’s
private life in public, the person will not only be surprised, but he will also feel humiliated and inferior. If we choose to talk about
personal matters, we may approach the person and give advice
and encouragement. This will more likely make the person feel
thankful for the moral support.
We
should respect everyone else’s privacy as we want others to respect ours.
Courtesy of New Straits Times
5 December 2014
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