CHILDREN [They are Gifts from God, Not a Burden]

The writer believes that a beautiful camaraderie
 makes life a wonderful journey.

The day one ties the knot is a sweet moment no groom or bride will forget, but will this sweetness sustain and grow sweeter each day? Newlyweds think they are ready to become somebody’s spouse and a child’s parent, but how confident and prepared are they in taking responsibility and facing sour and bitter phases of marriage?

Marriage is about starting a family and being prepared for a greater challenge – raising children with somebody with a different personality, behaviour and intelligence. Parents need to realise that raising a child requires skill, patience, determination and endurance. They may stumble along the way, especially if their children are differently abled, but will that make or break their spirit? Emotional parents may be unable to deal with the pressure and this is why children are abused and loathed.

Not only do some parents lack parental skills, they sometimes fail to manage their stress. It is deemed essential for working parents to be available at home. To deal with bosses with high expectations and a heavy workload is not easy, but it is not impossible.  Parents should do their best to make themselves available at home to spend some quality time with their children.

It is inevitable that parents face problems at work, but they should know their failure to stop thinking about problems may lead to consequences at home. This is when a simple joke will not make them happy, but angry; a trivial mistake may result in irrelevant and excessive punishment that could affect their children physically, emotionally and mentally.  

Some children may make calls to Childline for help and solutions, but this may not always be the way out. There may be miscommunication when a child in distress reports to the person on duty. As a result, these children will be trapped in a place filled pressure, torture, boredom and uncertainty.

Children are gifts from God. They should not be treated as a burden, but as responsibilities. Make them feel respectful, not fearful.

Roman writer Terence once said: “It is better to bind your children to you by a feeling of respect and by gentleness than by fear.”

Courtesy of New Sunday Times

1 March 2015

ENGLISH LITERATURE (Include Classics in Syllabus)

The writer (in black and white) believes that
a beautiful camaraderie makes life a wonderful journey.

            This year, there have been changes in the selection of literature texts for English Language (1119) and I would like to express my opinions regarding the new texts selected for poems, short stories, dramas and novels.

            For the changes made for Forms Four and Form Five (effective next year), I appreciate the initiative to include texts by authors from various cultural backgrounds and nationalities. However, I feel that there should also be the inclusion of distinguished authors from the 18^th, 19^th or early 20^th century, whose literary works have stood the test of time and have inspired authors in the present day.

            In the case of Literature in English (2205) - an elective subject with a small number of candidates - the syllabus includes the play The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare, which is a good effort in introducing students to his works. Considering the fact that literature is only part of 1119 – a compulsory subject for all Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia candidates – it may be less relevant to include Shakespeare’s plays in the literature component, and selecting from his repertoire of 154 sonnets would make more sense.

            In the world of literature, legendary authors including Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, William Wordsworth, William Butler Yeats and E.E. Cummings, are remembered for their exceptionally great quality of work, with deep meanings, impressive styles of writing and strong messages. In appreciating classic works of literature, learners are able to develop Higher Order Thinking Skills, which is the focus of our education system today, as they immerse themselves in the literary works.

            I believe that the combination of ancient and modern texts will help learners open their mind on issues and values in life. Literature serves as a platform for learners to develop background knowledge, express thoughts and relate to personal experiences. It could even be a form of therapy for students who live a hard life due to poverty, disabilities and family problems. By understanding a poem or a short story, students not only stand a good chance to score well in the literature section, but will also learn about the relationship between cause and effect, as well as the dos and don’ts in life, which would benefit them.

              However, English teachers may face challenges in arousing learners’ interest in literature, especially when dealing with figurative languages in poetry. This is a chance for teachers to expand their creativity and challenge their ability to make students love, instead of loathe, literature. 

               There is a remedy for every difficulty. If unfamiliar words in literary texts make students lose interest, teachers can simplify them. If learning literature in the classroom bores students, take them outdoors. If students find it hard to understand themes and issues in the texts, relate the topics to a local context. And, if students keep giving excuses not to learn literature, give them reasons to do so.

            The classics may give learners a new outlook on life. To connect to a world and time that they have been disconnected from is a form of escapism that leads to motivation, inspiration, satisfaction and realisation. 

Courtesy of New Straits Times

23 February 2015

SEX EDUCATION

The writer (in pink) believes that a beautiful camaraderie
 makes life a wonderful journey.

            Irish author George Bernard Shaw once said: “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”.

            The suggestion by Women, Family and Community Development Ministry to start sex education next year, with male teenagers aged 16 and above being the target group, is a daring move, considering the country’s religious and cultural sensitivities. It will be a great challenge to explain the rationality and relevancy of the implementation to the community and parents, especially, while students may experience a “culture shock” when they are first introduced to sex education. It may not guarantee immediate results but I believe with continuous effort and support by the government and the community, the policy will eventually bear fruit.

            We have heard many incidents involving male teenagers, who commit sexual offences over the years. The fact that boys reach their puberty later than girls may be a reason some boys make immature decisions that result in sex crimes, including rape and sexual harassment. The consequences are undesirable, distressing and dreadful. Teenage offenders charged with sex crimes will have a disciplinary blemish on their record and will face the law for their actions. They will also tarnish the good name of their families and schools, while the victims may suffer emotional and mental trauma.

            With the advent of technology, teenagers can easily gain access to websites with inappropriate content. It is a guilty pleasure for teenagers, who are left unmonitored by parents, to frequently visit these websites, and even download sex clips, which will lead to negative consequences. If sex education is implemented, male teenagers will get a chance to increase awareness regarding human sexuality. The syllabus should touch on the effects of engaging in sexual intercourse at a young age, masturbation and pornography. Male teens should know that the short- and long-term effects affect their health, academic performance, developmental growth as well as the perception and impression of others towards them.

            Sex education is important to both male and female teenagers. However, boys have always been left out when it comes to providing information regarding hormones or sexual anatomy, for instance. They are expected to rely solely on few topics in science subjects at school, which are not holistic. Girls, on the other hand, usually receive informal education from female family members regarding sexuality, menstruation and risk, even before they finish primary school. Thus, sex education in schools may be able to give male teenagers their fair share of information they need to know.

            Also, the inclusion of sex education in schools could help parents who may not be comfortable or face difficulty to discuss sex-related topics with their children. Consequently, children will make personal effort to gain understanding about human sexuality. This initiative may pose a risk to teenagers, especially with the influence of dirty-minded peers who could lure into unhealthy habits.

            Implementing sex education in schools means applying adopt-and-adapt concept. We adopt a Western approach in our learning culture with the hope that learners, teachers, parents and other members of society can adapt with the new change. Everything has its pros and cons, but there’s no harm trying.

Courtesy of New Straits Times

16 February 2015

APATHY (Prevention is Better than Cure)

The writer believes that a beautiful camaraderie
 makes life a wonderful journey.

            Dengue has caused many in the country to suffer and, in worst case scenario, die. Even after awareness campaigns as well as frequent fogging, cases are increasing at an alarming rate. This is a cause for concern.

            People who feel that they do not need to be as careful as those affected by dengue must not forget that no one is safe from it.

            One way to spread information about dengue is through talks and distribution of pamphlets and brochures. But, do people listen carefully to the speeches and increase their awareness about dengue fever, as well as take initiatives to prevent themselves and others from becoming victims? Or, do all reminders, warnings and advice fall on deaf ears? 

            We may be full of motivation, willingness and determination to fight dengue, but how long do these attitudes last?

Dengue cases have fluctuated over the years, but the recent spike in the number of cases shows that our efforts are seasonal. We may know and talk a lot about dengue-related issues, but prevention is better than cure.

It is not smart to wait until dengue claims the lives of our loved ones. By then, there is no use crying over spilt milk. It is important to make early preparations to protect ourselves and loved ones. It is advisable for us to clean homes, schools and workplaces frequently. The activities will not only make our environment clean and conducive, but also reduce the risk of dengue.

Many do all they can to find happiness, forgetting that happiness comes with good health. We make friends, watch movies, go on vacations and buy the latest gadgets just to make ourselves happy. It is time for us to realise that it is equally important to be healthy. Being healthy means keeping clean surroundings, developing positive attitudes and making the right choices.

That is the recipe for true happiness.

Courtesy of New Sunday Times

15 February 2015

Some Students Waste Time Politicising Issues

The writer believes that a beautiful camaraderie
 makes life a wonderful journey.

It is obvious that people are, of late, obsessed with sharing false information on social media as well as pointing fingers every time issues are raised. What makes an issue become harder to solve is when people politicise it. 

Some people are careful when discussing political issues as their actions and opinions may put them in trouble, but others find it interesting to play the political card.

We need to realise that not everything is about politics. Issues on environment, economy, education, race, religion, health, security or crime, should not be made worse by insensitive individuals who assume that politics is the root cause of the problems.

Politicising issues is a social ill and it can become a cultural habit if nothing is done. With children and teenagers becoming involved in juvenile cases, it is feared that these schoolchildren are influenced and infatuated with politicising issues. Without parental supervision, these children may misuse the Internet. While connecting with their peers, or perhaps, strangers, they discuss political issues, mix other issues with politics and share immature and irrelevant opinions, forgetting their homework and revision.

In school, they lose focus and interest in studies, as they fall in love with politics. This will not only pose a risk to their academic performance, but also cause them to influence others to join their political, instead of academic, discussion.

Many students prefer to read news reports from unreliable sources like blogs, Facebook and Twitter, without realising that there may be a twist in the story. This will lead to misunderstanding and misinterpretation. These students take wrong actions, including spreading rumours, while intending to keep their schoolmates updated on current issues. When these insensible teenagers add political flavours into their sharing of information, it may cause others to develop prejudiced, curious and furious feelings. Consequently, they may resort to wrong conclusions.

Schoolchildren should be selective, careful and smart in processing information they read. It is true that they need to be mindful of what is happening in the country and around the world, but they should not over-generalise and complicate issues, let alone, politicise them.

At work, those who politicise issues waste time making speculations and assumptions. These workers are always eloquent when convincing others regarding the cause-and-effect of issues but their smart-alec attitude may annoy their rational, wise and positive-thinking colleagues. Such “chatterboxes” abandon their main responsibility which is improving the quality of work to ensure better productivity and work performance. 

As former United States president Abraham Lincoln said: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”  

To politicise issues is to put our peace and harmony at stake. Thus, it is important for us to think carefully before we judge and share our thoughts, because once we are addicted to spreading intriguing, yet false facts about issues, we will live as, not peacemakers, but troublemakers.

Courtesy of New Straits Times

11 February 2015

CHILDCARE (Kids Deserve a Loving Home)

The writer believes that a beautiful camaraderie
 makes life a wonderful journey.

            In his 1954 book Motivation and Personality, Abraham Maslow explained that humans needed to fulfil their physiological and safety needs, as well as love and sense of belonging prior to developing their self-esteem and self-actualisation. According to this theory, humans need air, water and food to survive, while love and a sense of belonging boosts their motivation to live with confidence and respect – two elements many children lack today.

            The decision to put less fortunate children in welfare homes under family-based care is justified, wise, thoughtful and relevant.

          Children, including orphans, deserve to live with a family who will be there through thick and thin. It is in our nature to love and be loved, and no one wants to live a loveless life.

            Children need attention as part of their developmental growth, especially those with disabilities. Children with learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity, speech and language disorders, and autism are special and must not be left out. They need extra attention to be happy. Being in a family, they will feel appreciated, motivated and protected. These children need people who have faith in them.

            A loving environment can motivate children to study and succeed. In many cases, parents are the children’s motivation and strength. It is important to note that education shapes a child’s future. With proper upbringing, they can make their families, schools and country proud. And if families inculcate moral values and strong fundamentals in these children, they are likely to become exemplary individuals.

            Pediatric surgeon Charles Everett Koop once said: “Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.” Foster parents are responsible and compassionate individuals whose noble acts should serve as encouragement to other parents, especially married couples who face difficulty in having children. Adoption can give childless couples a chance to build a family while parental love, affection and acceptance can help children enjoy and appreciate the beauty of life.

            Children are a source of inspiration. Their innocence is adorable, their smile a blessing, their laughter relieves stress and their presence can turn a boring day into a bright one.

I believe that nobody will say “no” to a meaningful life.

Courtesy of New Sunday Times

8 February 2015

RETIREMENT (Forget Fleeting Pleasures and Start Saving)

The writer believes that a beautiful camaraderie
makes life a wonderful journey.

            Every Malaysian is a saver, either for short- or long-term goals. Those who save only for short-term goals usually use their savings to make their dreams of travelling, buying the latest gadgets or owning dream cars, for instance, come true. To tick off their wish list is an achievement, a satisfaction and an ultimate success.

            Those who save for the long term, on the other hand, prioritise their needs ahead of their wants. Their definition of satisfaction is when they are able to live their post-retirement with a smile, not a frown, on their faces. They prepare for the future and hope for the best.  

            However, it seems like there are more people now who save for temporary satisfaction. Take sales during festive seasons, for example. Shopping complexes and hypermarkets are flooded with customers excited about discounts, rebates and promotions. Customers have the mantra “Don’t worry, be happy” in their head.

            Savings are not only a necessity, but a must. To rely solely on Employees Provident Fund (EPF) savings is an inadvisable decision, especially when a recent study revealed that retirees would have a difficult time surviving on the amount they have saved in EPF.  

            It is true that it is hard for us to start saving once we are obsessed with spending, but where there is a will, there is a way. We need to realise that overspending will only lead to negative repercussions, thus, we need to ditch the habit by all means. 

            Sometimes, Malaysians take positive thinking the wrong way. For some, living life to the fullest means focusing only on the present, assuming that things will get better in the future. There are people who believe that one needs to spend every penny one has if one does not want to regret being the richest person in the cemetery. This is ridiculous.

            Prevention is always better than cure. Hence, young people should plan for their old age carefully as it will be too tortuous for us to think about looking for a job to eke out a living when we reach 60.

           

            Learn to save money. It's now or never.

Courtesy of New Straits Times

1 February 2015

Caning is Harsh, But It's a Sign of Love

The writer believes that a beautiful camaraderie
 makes life a wonderful journey.

            The proposal to make the caning of children a criminal act has triggered heated arguments. While some agree with the amendment to the Child Act 2001, some feel the suggestion does not hold water. It is our responsibility to defend children’s rights but the decision should not be finalised until every aspect is meticulously studied.

            If the caning of children is criminalised, will the decision ensure that children behave better and become good citizens?  

We are aware that negative influences are silent killers that destroy today’s generation. Children's personalities are determined by their surroundings. Mere advice and frequent reminders do not work for rebellious children. So, when parents lose power over their children, it is feared that children will grow up and cause trouble to the family, school and society. At this stage, children are harder to control and it may be too late for punishment.

In my opinion, it is a drastic decision to resort to punishing parents who cane their children. There may be some parents who cane their offspring excessively and emotionally but the rest take the action effectively and rationally. Otherwise, there would not be successful people who took education and good manners seriously.

If there is no pain, there is no gain. Caning could lead to positive effects that involve immediate and long-term results. It is “able” to make children study harder, manage time wisely, think rationally, show respect and, most importantly, they will think twice before misbehaving. These attitudes and attributes will help them become individuals. Strict parenting provides strong fundamentals for children to face future challenges that will either make or break their lives. 

Caning may be a traditional method but it does not mean that it is not practical. In fact, it may become a preventive measure for parents to protect their children from negative influences. When parents cane, it is a warning for children to behave. This will also encourage children to be disciplined and careful in their decisions and actions.

           The difference between abusive parents and caring parents is the former cane to hurt while the latter cane to teach. Ruthless parents deserve to face the music of their inhumane acts but other parents should not be punished for educating their offspring.

            Caning may sound harsh but it is a sign of love, attention, responsibility and concern. Many children today are spoiled by parents who will not punish them even after committing serious mistakes. Consequently, these children lead meaningless lives. Children who are brought up by strict parents, on the other hand, learn how to be strong, wise and independent.  

            It is important to realise that smart and sensible parents will not cane their children without good reasons and good intentions. They know their limits and they know what is best for their children. For children who misbehave and show disrespect, a soft tactic, such as talking, is not always effective as, most of the time, actions speak louder than words.   

Courtesy of New Straits Times

3 February 2015